I Just Don't Get It.

In our society we expect ourselves to do everything--and to do it perfectly.  We expect ourselves to work full time, raise happy families, maintain our households and friendships, find causes to volunteer for and activities to participate in and exude confidence as we make it all look effortless.  Furthermore, in the past few years we have really put more of an emphasis on caring for our bodies and living healthy lifestyles.  So how is it that, in this society, it remains a stigma to care for our mental health by speaking to counselors about the immense amounts of pressure we face every day?  I mean, if anything, shouldn't it be impressive that we managed to squeeze an extra hour of productive-healthy-lifestyle-time into our day?

Look at this campaign ad from Dove.  I love it.  Women are brave enough to bare their bodies to talk about being healthy.  It's inspiring.

But when someone owns up to what's going on in their lives and suggests he/she might need help talking about mental health, addressing real needs we all have, it is sometimes equated to "craziness" or being weak.  I just don't get it.

I know I'm oversimplifying here, but the more I think about it the more frustrated I get that this is something we feel uncomfortable talking about.  Only in the past year have I discovered that I have anxiety, found tools to cope with it, and made my life so much better.  The first time I saw my counselor I was so nervous--like, arm-pit-soaked-nervous.  I didn't tell anyone where I was going, and I was skeptical that it would work.  I felt ashamed, like there was something wrong with me.  And now I just wonder why I waited so long when the effects have completely changed my life.  But I know why: because my shame was a reflection of what we see on TV or in movies or read in books or hear from the people around us.

The truth is that we all need to address our mental health.  For some people this comes through talking with friends or yoga or exercise or going to church (and the list goes on).  For me, I wasn't a person who felt comfortable trying to process how I was feeling with friends--I felt like a broken record because I struggled to even identify what was bothering me to talk about in the first place.  And my struggle to identify what was bothering me meant that processing by myself was difficult too.  Once I opened my mind to it, I really loved talking to a counselor because her voice and suggestions are completely outside my realm--I don't have to worry about offending her, if what I say will somehow get to someone else, I don't have to be afraid of saying something that sounds dumb, or of struggling with the same problem for a long period of time.  Plus, she's trained for this!  Once I really admitted that something wasn't right and I made the commitment to myself to work on it--just like I work on treating my body right through exercise and eating healthfully--what better to guide me than her advice, based on years of experience and training?

I guess maybe I'm just asking for a little compassion for each other.  If we find ways to take care of ourselves--our WHOLE selves, mind and body and spirit--we should applaud it.  And maybe if it wasn't such a stigma to talk about the stress that we face in everyday tasks (not that we don't love working full time, raising happy families, maintaining our households and friendships, finding causes to volunteer for and activities to participate in--but it's hard balancing all that!) maybe we wouldn't feel as stressed to begin with.